You may be wondering why a man of my age couldn’t tie his shoelaces up. Those of you who know me personally might not be surprised.
In the normal course of events I am normally successful in achieving the task of getting my laces done up. But as a special treat for myself I bought some Clarkes boats (the shoes with the laces around the outside as well).
The fancy laces that came with the shoe that caught my eye were rounded ones. A problem with rounded laces as I was to find out, is that they are more prone to coming undone and hence becoming a trip hazard.
My wife who generally does a marvellous job in taking care of me and protecting me from my own stupidity came up with a very obvious solution, “use a double bow”.
This information is of course the most practical solution to my problem of the laces coming undone and the consequential risk of an accident. What this solution did not allow for was that I did not know what a double bow was. Worse than that, not only did my wife know and tell me, male pride prevented me from asking what a double bow was.
This was made worse by the fact I knew that this information was freely available to children and most children would not only know how, but be able to demonstrate this to me. Whenever my wife said anything along the lines of “why don’t you use a double bow”, I would nod wisely being none the wiser. She was prepared to let me learn from my own stupidity, which is a luxury which we may or may not deny to our learners depending on the circumstances.
Undeterred by my own ignorance I set out to find a solution (without asking my wife of course). Naturally I blamed the laces so I returned to the shop where I made the original purchase. Once again I was confronted with the phrase “why don’t you use a double bow”.
This time it was uttered by a young woman who recognised my blank looks and nodding donkey sort of head. Clearly she was much more up to date with dealing with small children and men who can’t admit that they don’t know something. She sprang into action, knelt before me and in an instant my laces were tied in a double bow. The scales fell from my eyes. Once again I could stride boldly up the road safe in the knowledge that tripping was now only a very remote possibility.
A solution was obvious now that I had seen it. But what had stopped me from seeing it, foolish male pride maybe. Now the real question I want to ask here, which is the whole point of all this, is how often do you tell a pupil something which is so obvious to you that you don’t even think about it.
Looking at how we coach our pupils, do we really listen well enough. The lady in the Clarkes shoe shop did. But besides listening, she looked. She recognised from my body language that I hadn’t really understood the answer she gave to my question.
Have a look at the ADI 1 (Instructions for the Guidance of ADI Enforcement Examiners) under 3.27 Did the trainer identify the pupil’s learning goals and needs? It’s on page 47 of that document which is used to guide the marking of Part 3’s and Standards checks.
It talks about body language. When I was in the shop I was nodding wisely about double bows, but in reality I had no idea what they were. The lady in the Clarkes shop read my body language and got it spot on. The thought occurs to me as I write this, that my wife is used to a blank expression followed by a grunt. Apparently a reaction a lot of women are used to when talking with their husbands.
Reading body language is something that we should be doing all the time with our pupils. It is a check on reality. Have they understood, are they comfortable, are they stressed or upset. Are you being effective and safe.
What should we look for. In general the eyes are a good starting point. Are they welling up which might indicate that they are upset or frustrated. Narrowing might suggest thinking or concentration or possibly anger. If the eyebrows are raised, are they doubting your words of wisdom.
Where is the tip of the nose pointing. This you might see more clearly than their eyes. While it won’t reveal too much about a pupils mental state while driving, it will show you where they are looking and you can be aware of this in the corner of your eye as you drive along.
Listening to the sound of breathing is a good indicator of stress. In general you won’t or shouldn’t hear much at all. Driving examiners will probably be much more tuned into this one than the normal ADI/PDI as the test candidates will often be stressed.
Look at the mouth and see what that tells you. Lips narrowing would suggest concentration. This might be accompanied by tension in the jawline. A throbbing vein under the ear is another sign. Reminding your pupils to keep breathing quite often breaks the tension. Choose your moment for that. An easy mouth and a wide smile from your pupil will make the lessons go well.
Hands are another good one. Knuckles going white while gripping the wheel shows tension. What is their posture like at the wheel. Quite often a tense pupil will sit forward. Get them to sit back and relax if you can.
When pulled up at the side of the road are you getting the nodding donkey look (yes dear) that I was giving to my wife. What does their face say about if they have understood you. Do you get that eureka look when the pupil gets it. When you do, it’s one of the things that makes the job worthwhile.
As an experiment when you have a few minutes and you are parked somewhere safe. Grit your teeth, clench your jaw, grip the steering wheel tightly and sit a little bit forward in your seat. Ask yourself could you drive safely like this and would you be able to learn anything when you are all tense. Then relax, shake off the tension from your hands and shoulders. Breathe deeply and sit back into the seat. Note the differences.
As you get to know your pupil you will become more aware of what their triggers are. Part of active listening is looking at the body language of the person we are communicating with. This will be both for what you say and what you hear. We look, we listen and we learn.
© Liam Greaney
driving-pro.com
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